Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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