remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
