I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
