my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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