i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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