Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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