Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
