just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
