I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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