non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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