Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
