wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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