I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Soap is not a condiment
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
