i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
