Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
