i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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