Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
