you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
