I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
