U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
