Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
