You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
