He is an equal opportunity slut.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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