I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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