I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
