Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
