im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
