Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
