I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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