so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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