I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
that's an acceptable place to lick
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Randomize
