No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
