The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
