is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
