Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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