Michael Bay diarrhea
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
