i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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