I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
just tell him i said nine months
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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