Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
