i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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