she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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