Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
