Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
