yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
