You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
