Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
