i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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