I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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