Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He told me they were just razor bumps!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The feeling are messing with the penis
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
