Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
His nipple licking is glorious
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