ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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